Oh him? No, he's crazy too
by karrot bear
Summary: Have you ever met a guy who you thought was normal? Then you met his family and realized they're all crazy? Well Tsuna's about to find out his family might not be the only one that fits that bill. Crack.


Tsuna's family was weird.

It was a given fact. Ryohei had attention and volume deficit disorders, Gokudera was bordering on cultist loyalty, Lambo was Lambo and still is, and Yamamoto was maybe normal but the whole split fighting persona and game obsession was mildly creepy. To even try to cover Mukuro's(and therefore Chrome's) issues would not only need one highly trained psychiatrist but two, mainly to help the first one get over his trauma.

Hibari cannot be mentioned because he would find out and the narrator would then end up dead.

So once more it was a given fact that Tsuna's family, and by association Tsuna, were bat shit crazy.

As Tsuna wandered the halls of the main Italian base he felt slightly ashamed of the insanity he had brought to the family.

What he didn't realize was that Nono's family, while seemingly wise and mature, were probably even more so. Why? Because it ran in the blood.

* * *

Example one- Coyote Nougat-

Nono heard the solemn knock on his doors and let out a small greeting. He recognized the knock and simply went back to his paper work. Why he gave the Varia insurance was beyond him.

Coyote took his usual place behind Nono and hoped he wouldn't notice the glaringly obvious.

It took about an hour and a half before Nono glanced up at him and promptly lost his lower jaw.

"What happened to your arm?"

Coyote cringed and rubbed the strange metal appendage as Nono went from shock to anger.

"Well you see Nono.."

"What family, don't be ashamed, just give names and-"

Coyote looked down at the floor.

"I was getting a tattoo."

Nono blinked. Yes his trusty right-hand man was in his fifties but any aged Mafia man felt the occasional need for a new tattoo.

"And they caught you off guard?"

"It was going to say, 'Nono per sempre'." (A/N- Supposedly Nono forever in Italian)

"Oh...thank you."

Coyote gave a small nod while Nono inwardly cringed. He still wasn't really used to that...loyalty. Yes that's what he'll call it.

"But the damned bastard thought I had said 'No nono per sempre'!" (Roughly No Ninth forever)

Nono shrugged. That was easy to take care of.

"So I chopped my arm off right then. I was so ashamed for it to read such a traitorous thing! I then got Giovanni to design me this beauty!"

His sheepish demeanor was gone replaced by a fiery triumph, like his arm was some powerful rival family he had wiped out.

Nono absentmindedly nodded his head.

This was a dream, of course. His right hand couldn't be that much of an idiot.

"Giovanni was still working on the fingers so don't worry, this is just a prototype."

He held up the arm to show it ended with a pincer-claw thing.

'Oh fuck-it-all this ain't a dream.' Nono thought as he smiled and said, "I see. We should give him a raise."

Coyote left the room beaming and Nono was left writing a check over his finest guardian's stupidity.

-Present-

Gokudera stared up at the Ninth's right hand man.

He seemed so, what was the word? Admirable, honorable, strong...cool. Especially with that arm.

Gokudera for once felt sheepish.

"How did-"

"Someone was slandering the Ninth and while defending his honor I lost my arm. But with this I can still fulfill my promise to Nono as his right-hand man." Somehow while Coyote stated this a giant Vongola crest fell behind him, some triumphant music played in the background too.

Gokudera's eyes widened. This man was exactly who he wanted to be. For the rest of the trip to the Vongola's Italian base he followed his predecessor with awe.

Nono just paled and explained to Tsuna that he should develop a liquor of choice for his desk.

Preferably something strong.

* * *

Should I do the rest? Too ooc? NOt much was written about the Ninth family so I'm guessing on a lot. Or I may just make stuff up.

The review button is eating some popcorn. Click to get a handful...mmm popcorn. It's so...poppy and corny?


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